ABC's "The Bachelorette" is back this summer with its umpteenth season. Wait, how many couiples have lasted so far? But before you give up on the dating serial, Yahoo! Originals throws its hose into the fire with the premiere of "Burning Love," executive produced by Ben Stiller. Sure it's scripted, but with Ken Marino, Michael Ian Black and the funniest comediennes taking their turn as marriage material to a TV hunk, it's more entertaining.
While every other entertainment publication has "The Bachelorette" covered, On Demand Weekly's dating show expert Kate Asche Wilson will breakdown each episode as if she were right there in the mansion.
It’s after the final hose, and what an adventure it has been. I’ve followed Mark, to the point of obsession, as he romanced fourteen different ladies, and found that despite his obvious idiocy I wanted him to find love. In this season there has been heartbreak, tears, exposed vaginas, stalking, the homeless, big boobs, baked goods, and even death. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotional intensity of televised romance, but I am grateful that I went on this journey with Mark, and thank him for making me believe in love again.
The After The Final Hose special brings all the rejected Bachelorettes together to come face to face with each other and the man who rejected them unapologetically on national television. Imagine putting all of your past lovers in a tiny room in front of an audience, and getting personally berated for all of your bad decisions. It’s like Six Flags but with feelings.
Mark had the pleasure to be placed in this situation, and boy does he handle it with the upmost class and finesse. In attendance is almost every woman he has personally scorned this past season including stalker Lexie, lesbian Carly, overly attached Julie, monkey hearted other Tamara, and my personal favorite; pant-less Hayley. Host Bill begins the happy reminiscence with embarrassing footage of the bachelorettes so they truly understand the severity of the mistakes they made this season.
Just as the fun is starting Mark is brought out. Because it’s “Burning Love” and there has to be a twist it is revealed that Mark is sadly no longer engaged to his final bachelorette, Ballerina. The details of their split are shrouded in mystery, but it’s basically because Ballerina is a man. But don’t worry dear audience! Mark does not leave empty handed. He proposes to another lucky bachelorette, and eventually finds one that says yes. I’m sure monkey hearted other Tamara and Mark will live happily ever after, and that they will have a full and successful relationship with no cheating and absolutely no hot tubs.
Personal Side Note: Ken Marino and Erica Oyama, I just want to hug you guys! After “Burning Love” ended I stalked you both on IMDb because I’m creepy, and loved this web series too much. I demand to be invited to your lovely dinner parties. Do you play Apples to Apples with Ben Stiller and revel in your own hilarity? Don’t answer that I’m just going to assume you do.
If you adored “Burning Love” as much as I did tune in for the next season of “Burning Love”: Hot For Teacher. I can’t wait to see what kind of trouble Annie gets herself into.
Kate Asche Wilson is a new contributing writer to On Demand Weekly. She is a graduate from the Dodge College of Film and Media Arts at Chapman University where she received a BA in Screenwriting. In her spare time Kate likes to take long walks on the beach, and watch telenovelas. Follow her on Twitter @KATEDOESLIFE!
You can find "Burning Love" on Yahoo.
BURNING LOVE: Episode 13 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 12 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 11 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 10 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 9 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 8 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 7 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 6 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 5 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episode 4 - DEMAND IT
BURNING LOVE: Episodes 1 - 3 - DEMAND IT
ENGAGEMENT - TRY IT
A BUDDY STORY - DEMAND IT
TAKE THIS WALTZ - TRY IT
ONE FOR THE MONEY - RISK IT